Even though Alexander proclaimed his love for Elizabeth countless times throughout their union, Alexander disregarded his commitment when he became unfaithful. Between the years 1791 and 1792, Alexander had an affair with a woman named Maria Reynolds, and was blackmailed for it by Maria’s husband, James Reynolds. Alexander ended up paying around one thousand dollars, but Alexander publicly confessed the affair by publishing his personal account. This devastated Elizabeth, and she burned nearly all the letters Alexander ever wrote her. However, they remained together, and her decision to stay with him saved Alexander from losing his reputation and credibility. Elizabeth faced even more obstacles later in live. In 1804, Alexander and her son, on separate occasions, died in duels. Alexander was shot by Aaron Burr, a politician Alexander had quarreled with for years. This left Elizabeth with little to no money and children to raise, the youngest of which was two.
Living most of her widowhood in poverty, Elizabeth remained active in charitable organizations, specifically the New York Orphan Asylum Society. Through this organization, she was able to found the first private orphanage in New York City, and another one in Washington D.C.. She was there in 1807 when the orphanage laid its first cornerstone, and she was indefatigable in her efforts to raise money and support the society, becoming its director in 1821. She remained involved until she was ninety. Also known for bringing homeless children into her home, she ended up adopting one child. The orphanage was bought by a family services company called Graham Windham, which continues to serve thousands of families and children each year. Many of her contemporaries praised her for her work, and in reply, she is noted saying “My Maker has pointed out this duty to me, and has given me the skill and inclination to perform it.” While doing this, she was also repairing her husband’s reputation, preserving his papers and letters. She sent questionnaires to many of his former colleagues to verify details in Hamilton’s letters and affairs. After hunting for a suitable editor, her son, John Church Hamilton, edited the collection, which was finally completed in 1861. Through these efforts, Elizabeth created a legacy for herself and for her husband, one that continues to the present. While others would have wallowed in their sorrows after facing so many obstacles, she thrived and prevailed, becoming a noteworthy character in history.